went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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