Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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