today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
