Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
