She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
