Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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