Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
