I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize