Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
