And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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