I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my being single is dangerous.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
