ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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