So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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