he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
