I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
