evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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