I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
