i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
