I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
