I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize