After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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