So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think i have two assholes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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