I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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