it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
