How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
