Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
