I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize