Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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