Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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