That's intense
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
