once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
