the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
