I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
