I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
