what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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