yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
