you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
NoShamevember. You game?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize