you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
