what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
