I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
