there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
