Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
