We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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