And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
