Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
