he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
