If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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