she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
