She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
