Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
