do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize