I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
