She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
