Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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