I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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