i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
