I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
