they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
