Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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