I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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